Jabberwocky
by Bekki Beekeeper
Summary: “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!” Cassie persuades the men of SG1 to give a comical performance.


**Title:** Jabberwocky  
**Category:** Humour  
**Summary:** "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!" Cassie persuades the men of SG-1 to give a comical performance.

_**Disclaimer:** The characters here belong to Stargate SG-1 and its associates. I grudgingly attribute credit to Lewis Carroll for the brillig poem about a Jabberwock.

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**Jabberwocky**

"'_Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
__Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
__All mimsy were the borogoves,  
__And the mome raths outgrabe_."

The words made no sense, and were all the more frightening for it. Daniel shot a panicked look over to Jack, who stood opposite him on the other side of the doorway. Jack's face was grim with the certainty that as soon as they entered that room, they would regret it. The formidable voice that carried from within seemed to confirm their fate.

"That's it," Daniel hissed.

"I noticed," Jack snapped. He sighed and rolled his eyes at Daniel's stung expression, saying, "What I wouldn't give for a call from the SGC right now." He looked up at the ceiling. "Thor? Buddy? Feel free to beam us up anytime…"

From inside, someone cleared her throat. It was a loud, impatient sound, causing Jack and Daniel to exchange pensive looks.

"You first," Jack offered.

"No," said Daniel, "after _you_."

There wasn't time to argue. Jack glared, then squared his shoulders and strode through the doorway, Daniel following meekly behind. They halted in the middle of the room, facing three jeering faces: Sam Carter, Janet Fraiser, and - worst of all - Cassandra.

Cassie gave Daniel a meaningful look and gestured for him to get on with it. He cleared his throat and read uncertainly from a piece of paper that he held in his right hand.

"_Beware the Jabberwock, my son!_" he began.

"Daniel, you're facing the wrong way," Cassie interrupted. "Don't talk to us, talk to Jack."

Daniel sent Sam and Janet a pleading look; the two promptly burst into giggles. He grimaced and tried again:

" '_Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
__The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
__Beware the…_Jubjub bird?_...and shun  
__The frumious Bandersnatch!' _"

"Okay," said Jack, "first of all: what on Earth a Jubjub bird? And second, what does frumious mean?"

"That's the point, Jack," Cassie told him. "We don't know!"

"It's not supposed to make sense, sir," Sam offered, grinning. Jack frowned. She was already enjoying herself way too much, he decided.

"How am I supposed to beware of something when I don't know what it is?"

"It's a bird," piped up Daniel cheerfully. He was apparently feeling much better now he had managed to get his lines right. Jack glared at him; Daniel took that as his cue to leave, and retreated to the side of the 'stage'.

Cassie resumed her role as Narrator, continuing:

"_He took his vorpal sword in hand--_"

"I get a sword?" Jack interrupted.

"A vorpal sword," laughed Janet.

"A vorpal sword," Jack repeated. "Cool. Hey, do I get to use props?" Without waiting for an answer, he glanced around the room. Then he made a dive for an unsuspecting walking stick in the corner, and held it up threateningly. Sam and Janet were in fits.

Pleased he was finally getting into the idea, Cassie grinned and went on:

"_He took his vorpal sword in hand:  
__Long time the manxome foe he sought--  
__So rested he by the Tumtum tree,  
__And stood awhile in thought._"

Jack stood stock still.

"Jack?" asked Cassie.

"I'm standing awhile in thought!" he exclaimed defensively. Cassie rolled her eyes.

"You're supposed to actually look for the thing before you stop to think," she told him as Sam and Janet smirked from the sofa. "Come on, Jack!"

"Cassie," Jack replied with a serious expression, "believe me when I say that in any normal circumstances, I'd support any interest of yours one hundred percent. But poetry that's _designed_ to make no sense?"

"That's the fun of it," Cassie told him with a laugh. "You're supposed to enjoy the sounds of the language and interpret them in the way you want. It doesn't matter that they make no real sense."

Jack glanced uncertainly at Daniel, who gave a scholarly nod. Janet and Sam, waiting patiently for the show to continue, gave expectant smiles. Jack turned back to Cassandra.

"And you're sure this is going to help you with your finals."

"Yes."

There was a pause, in which the seasoned Air Force officer and the determined teenage girl regarded each other coolly. In the end, Jack gave a resigned sigh, defeated.

"Fine." And he pretended to search for his manxome foe.

Pleased with Jack's resumed participation, Cassie continued into the next stanza:

"_And as in uffish thought he stood,  
__The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,  
__Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,  
__And burbled as it came!_"

All eyes turned towards the doorway, through which the Jabberwock entered with a mighty glare. Even Jack couldn't resist a smirk to see Teal'c whiffling into the room.

"Burble," said Teal'c in flat monotone. "Burble."

The room erupted with laughter, Sam and Janet laughing loudest of all.

"Great, Teal'c!" Cassie enthused between giggles, "that's great!" And she continued:

"_One, two! One, two! And through and through  
__The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
__He left it dead, and with its head  
__He went galumphing back_."

Jack took up his vorpal walking stick and waggled it in Teal'c's direction.

"Vshoom! Vshoom!"

"Jack!" Cassie yelled above the laughter, "it's supposed to go _snicker-snack_!"

Jack grinned. Teal'c, whose face showed the subtle expression of mirth, appreciated the reference to his favourite film and graciously allowed Jack to 'remove' his head. He then sank to his knees against the arm chair and did a very good impression of being dead.

Daniel stepped forward again and read out the next verse with admirable enthusiasm:

" '_And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?  
__Come to my arms, my beamish boy!  
__O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'  
__He chortled in his joy_."

Daniel spread his arms wide. Jack looked at him.

"Don't even think about it."

'_Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
__Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
__All mimsy were the borogoves,  
__And the mome raths outgrabe._


End file.
